STOP! Slowly inhale through your nose... hold it... now slowly exhale through your mouth. Repeat two or three times. I am instructing you to do so because so many of you- I mean “us” are or at some point, have been caught up in the race of living. We begin our day by getting out of bed feeling fatigued. Immediately, our minds begin to race with all the “to do’s” of the day and before we’ve even brushed our teeth, we’re sighing with trepidation. This is ridiculous! We cannot be everything to everyone in our household. Understand that the world will not stop revolving if every item does not get checked off on your "to do" list is important.
My children are 13 years apart; the lapse of 13 years has taught me well and I’d like to pass on a few words of wisdom on to you. I will admit that I was once guilty of the cardinal sin of putting everybody before me. Notice that I said, “was,” but no more! When my daughter was little, I thought that EVERYTHING HAD TO BE PERFECT. Her clothes, including her undershirts, were perfectly starched and ironed. Every one of her gazillion hair barrets matched her extensive wardrobe. When she began eating regular food, I wouldn’t dare feed her pre-packed baby food. No! My baby had to have freshly steamed vegetables, puréed in the food processor. I had to look put together all the time and never left the house without makeup, ironed clothes, etc… I went well above and beyond to grocery shop, cook a well balanced meal for my family, clean the house, take care of ALL my hubby’s needs, maintain a decent GPA, while attending school, blah...blah...blah…blah… and the list goes on! I KNOW that you get what I’m saying. Like I said, it’s ridiculous! If you’re doing this STOP IT RIGHT NOW! If you’re not, good for you, you’ve got more sense than I had.
My point here is simply that we must establish and maintain balance in our lives. We cannot steadily juggle multiple items 365 days a year and not expect things to come crashing down. In just the past two months, I’ve had several serious conversations with a few women and so many women are stressed out and cannot see an end to the rat race. I am not saying that we should not take our responsibilities as moms, wives, and so forth seriously; I am simply saying that we should seek balance and not loose ourselves in the process. With all that you do, figure out what is really important, as well as, what you do for yourself, and start liquidating. Ha! Ha! That’s what I like to call it liquidating. So what if the kids eat a decent cereal for dinner; if it’s good enough to start their day with, then it’s good enough to end their day. Stop saying yes to things that you don’t have time for; and stop accommodating people that you don’t like. Eject the baggage from your life and you will feel better. Trust me, I’ve done it and it feels good.
Countless studies report that stress can have irreversible affects on our body. So, if you don’t take time to nurture your own physical, mental, and spiritual well being, you will be of no use to anyone in your family. Below are several websites that I encourage you to check out. The “Strike It Healthy” website and program was developed by a former colleague and friend. Dr. Therese Pasqualoni, she provides excellent advice and resources, supported by facts that can help you physically get back on track. The second website was highly recommended by a dear family member who takes great pride in educating herself about her nutrition and her overall health. The last website is More magazine. I’ve been reading this wonderful magazine for several years now. I call it the magazine for real women that touch on the issues and challenges that we face in life. The magazine also has incredible inspiring stories that will inspire to pursue your dreams.
Commit to yourself to make overall healthier choices about your life. You will find that you will become happier, more productive, and will overall improve the quality of your life. Include yourself on your "to do" list. Lastly, please share any ideas or tips that you have which helps you to maintain a healthier lifestyle; I’m always looking for new ideas. “Think forward!”
Websites
http://www.strikeithealthy.com/index.htm
http://www2.healthyimmunity.com/
http://www.more.com
I was actually the same way with not being able to say No to family members and friends. Always the go to person when they needed some thing putting them before my immediate family and thank God he understood that and continually blessed me as he showed me the downfalls to this. The saying the truth hurts, yes it hurts like hell but it has opened my eyes and taught me how to say No some times, which I'm still working on and it's starting to feel really good.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, saying no can be painful, but getting beyond that is liberating. One way of thinking of it is like a toothache. It hurts badly, but once the dentist pulls the tooth, you feel 100% better. I sometimes think that women are innately trained to be people pleasers and it's not until we are stepped on over and then some do we take a stand. Some women learn, while others remain the same.
ReplyDeleteWow Tanya, you really hit the nail on the head!I am so guilty of saying yes to everything. I know I have extra stress in my life, which I can avoid.I am going to try and find the way. I love your inspiration.Keep it going! Ps I also have my elderly Mom, who is in the process of moving in with us.(she is 82 yrs young).I would love to read anything, you can recommend, on taking care of our parents.Thanks again Tanya! Liz
ReplyDeleteLiz- Just as I said before, it's natural for many of us to be so accommodating. I don't know if it's the nurturing thing or what, but it's taking a toll on women's bodies.
ReplyDeleteHow is your mom's health? Her ability to get around will make a big difference with your daily activities. Congratulations on moving her in! Your experience may be more positive and enjoyable han mine because every sitaution is different. Hopefully, other readers who've taken in an elderly parent can share their wisdom with us.
I appreciate your comments & I look forward to future discussions!
Tanya, this is an awesome blog...We had this very conversation when I told you I felt like I was loosing my mind and you bestowed your great wisdom on me.. I just want to say I am so greatful and thankful to have a woman like you in my life. I hope that with this blog you touch millions of people... the way you get to touch me all the time..
ReplyDeleteNatalia- Thank you so much for your gracious and kind words! I've been there, which is why I knew exactly what you were feeling. My conversation with you and others is why I started blogging. My goal is to stimulate conversation amongst women to help us deal with life's challenges. Continue to share your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteYes!! I couldn't agree more; first on the "to do list is take care of self, because if you don't everything else will crash. Please don't get me wrong, I don't mean being selfish. I literally mean take care of yourself. Saying no to family and friends and using the time to get some fun or relaxation in. I am one that continued to say yes, thinking I could help everyone or that the job won't get done "right" without me, but life has taken me through some changes that have shown me that sometimes it is not worth the hassles. Some who ask for you to help may need to be told no so that they may grow. So go ahead say NO!!...and feel good about it. That could be the one word to set you and the person you are trying to help be free.
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