Give special recognition to graduating moms

This week a long-time and close friend graduated from junior college and received her Associates degree with honors.   While this may seem like a small achievement to some, I am here to tell you that her success involved endless sacrifices.  I am extremely proud of her and overjoyed for her success! 

She’s a single mother of three children and like so many moms, always put her kids needs before her own. Her desire to attend college was shelved until she felt attending college would not interfere with their individual needs.

Countless moms (and single dads) undertake the journey of furthering their education.  Whether the goal is a GED, an Associates degree, a Bachelor’s degree, or other advanced degree, the sacrifice and commitment is all the same.

Kids homework, groceries, laundry, house cleaning, cooking, coaching, counseling, coordinating schedules, transporting the kids to activities, holidays, birthdays, nurturing all the relationships in the home, and working a second job out side the home (for some).

Add to the above, mommy’s classes, lectures, homework, papers, projects, quizzes, exams!  Oh yeah, did I mention sleep?

You cannot begin to imagine the mental and physical demands of maintaining this routine for any extended period of time.  Only God or another spiritual connection and a supportive network of family and friends can get you through such an exhausting and taxing journey.

Trying to keep everything going simultaneously is a bizarre juggling act

The experience of making a commitment to oneself and following through to the end is an incredible rewarding, uplifting, and exhilarating feeling. 

After nearly 11 years of attending day, evening, night, weekend classes, and sometimes, commuting twice a day (a one hour drive each way) in 2002, I proudly walked across the stage to receive my Bachelor’s degree at Rowan University. 

Strolling across the stage with my much younger and fellow graduates was one of the best feelings in my life!  The moment was incredibly emotional and rewarding. 

Like so many other women, I was the first in my family to receive a college degree.  My mom was proud.  My dad died my senior year in high school.  He made his spiritual presence when I received my high school diploma and revisited as I received my diploma in hand at Rowan. 

For a mom, furthering her education is empowering.  Moms often nurture everyone else except for herself.  Success in each class validates the process.  It’s the one thing in her day, her week, her month, her year that she do for herself and no one else.

So when I read or hear about another woman’s accomplishment, I say cheers!  Kudos!  Congratulations! And then some!  Because I know firsthand how the road is paved with potholes, detours and road closures, yet we diligently persevere.

A special segment in every college graduation ceremony should be dedicated to graduating mothers.  These accomplished moms usually work twice as hard as their classmates and deserve special recognition.

Congratulations to all the graduating women this spring; you rock!!

Today's idea of balance

bal·ance*
–noun

1.

a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution ofweight, amount, etc.

2.

something used to produce equilibrium; counterpoise.

3.

mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calmbehavior, judgment, etc.

At this moment, per me, I should be washing the dishes, cleaning up the kitchen, and filling my coffee pot with coffee beans for tomorrow morning's early rise

Hubby has taken our son to an activity.  This is my hour or so of mommy me time.  Yeah right!  Me time!   Lol!  I'm sitting in my study laughing my ass off.  Why?  Because there is no way that I can fit anything that I really want to right now into this little window of an opportunity.

So I'm here to just say, I'm still here!   I am promising myself that I will make a fierce return and say everything, well- well almost everything that I intended to say over the past two weeks.

I hear noises.  Alex!  That's my puppy.  I'm really not alone after all.  I must go, he's chewing the baseboard in the kitchen again.  I'll be back!/ˈbæləns/  -is defined by dictionary.com as 1.  a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc. 2. something used to create equilibrium, 3. mental steadiness, emotional stability...  






* http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/balance

A well understood wake-up call

“Every death is a wake-up call
 to live life more fully”

                                                                        - Oprah Winfrey

Wise and thought provoking.  The rapid and untimely death of my cousin Marlene  was my wake-up call.  Actually- it was more like a violent jolt. Although our moms are sisters, Marlene felt more like a sister than a cousin.

She was 46 when she passed. I remember driving in my car, struggling to listen to one of my favorite songs, Mariah Carey's, "Bye Bye."  Wondering why her?  Why now?

Early in August 2006 everything was well.  The disturbing cancer diagnosis came soon after.  Two days after Christmas, she passed.  She was a strict vegetarian for nearly all of her life. She never drank alcohol.  Never smoked cigarettes or cigars and never used drugs. She had no risk factors, but was still struck by this non-discriminate and mortal disease.

• Fact:  "About 70-80% of breast cancers occur in women who have no family history of breast cancer. These occur due to genetic abnormalities that happen as a result of the aging process and life in general, rather than inherited mutations"

She was not suppose to be the one to leave the family yet!  She was just too darn young and six months prior celebrated the youngest of her three children's high school graduation.  It's been four and half years, and I'm still amazed.

Marlene represented the true spirit of Christianity, but she never felt the need to make the declaration or to broadcast it to others.  Instead she chose to live a quite Christian life and led by example.  Marlene greeted everyone with a gentle and warm smile and loved sewing and crafting.  Never complained, even when she had reason to.

The stats are astounding and no one is exempt from this deadly disease.  I can take all the precautionary steps to minimize my risk factors, however, the fact remains that I can still be afflicted with the disease.

• Fact:  "About 1 in 8 women in the United States (12%) will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime."

My wake-up call reminds me to...  Enjoy each day.  Laugh often.  Enjoy and appreciate the special people in my life.  Partake in activities that are important to me, and most of all, have fun!

Now a days when I think about someone, I take the time to connect with them to say, "hello," "how are you?" or "I was thinking about you" because the next minute, hour, or day is not promised to any of us.

I'm excited and feeling really good about running in this Saturday's, Shirley Mae Breast Cancer Run and Walk .  I am running in memory of Marlene.  The event is also about celebrating survivors and I will be doing that too.

I will also be running to celebrate survivors Crystal, Vanessa, Dawn, and for those whom I don't know. Congratulations ladies on your triumphs!  Yeah!

• Fact:  "In 2010, there were more than 2.5 million breast cancer survivors in the U.S."

Yes!!!!


Resources and related links:

http://gaming.courierpostonline.com/2011/04/14/boardwalk-run-benefits-breast-cancer-patients/

http://www.shirleymaefund.org/

http://www.shirleymaefund.org/detail.php?9th-Annual-Shirley-Mae-Run-Walk-13

http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/statistics/%C2%A0

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/understand_bc/statistics.jsp

What was the unhealthiest meal that you've ever eaten?

Amazed!   At what?  My response to the latest writing prompt.   http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2011/04/29/describe-unhealthy-meal/

"What was the unhealthiest meal you’ve ever eaten?"

Growing up my mother fed me hearty and well balanced meals.  Fruits and vegetables were plentiful.  Every summer we gardened and harvested a beautifully large crop of corn, okra, green peppers, hot peppers, tomatoes, cabbage, and collards.  I wasn't allowed to eat much candy and don't recall eating fast food until nearly high school age.

Remembering the unhealthiest meal that I've ever eaten, really stirred me up. The meal was at McDonald's and became a weekend ritual somewhere around the age of 15.  I'm repulsed and down right disgusted at the amount of garbage that I put into my body.  I was a member of the Oakcrest High School Marching Ambassadors.  We participated in competitions all over and traveled on the weekends.  That's when I got the opportunity to eat at fast food restaurants.  My mother wouldn't dare feed me McDonald's.

I ate two Big Mac sandwiches, two large fries, an apple pie, and a large orange soda.  Now that may now sound like much, but for a nearly 5'9, 120 pound teenage girl, that just doesn't sound normal to me. My cousin Curtis and I collected the McDonald's calendars that had the buy one get one free coupon at the bottom of each month.  We lived for those coupons.

I was curious and had to get the nutritional facts on what I ate.  Below is the data:

Big Mac’s (2)

            563 Calories each

            33g  fat each

            1007g Sodium each

Large Fries (2)

            487 Calories each

            25g  Total fat each

            350g Sodium each

Apple Pie (1)
            260 Calories

            15g Fat

            200g. Sodium

Orange Soda (1 large)
            124 Calories

            20g  Sodium

            33g Sugar

2,484 Total Calories!!!

131g Total Fat!!!

2,934 Total Sodium!!

Honestly, I want to take a laxative and a 15 mile run just thinking about the calories, fat and sodium that I consumed.  Stunned and astonished! 

Fast forward to 30+ years later-  I stopped eating red meat in 1994 and I don't eat pork.  I eat turkey, chicken, and seafood. My occasional indulgence from McDonald's is a small order of fries and that's a rarity.  These days, I love my fruits, fresh vegetables, and other healthier food choices.  I religiously read nutritional labels before I buy or eat mostly everything. 

Personally, I don't feel like I'm depriving myself of anything.  I cherish my body more than I did then before.  I eat now to fuel my body with the proper nutrients so that my body and mind can perform at its best.  I've tried to teach my children the importance of eating well, but they too may go through a similar stage.

My 22 year old was a bit deprived of candy, but she did enjoy the pleasures of happy meals.  I've relaxed  even more with my 8 year old.  He gets more candy and about the same amount of fast food as his sister did, but more  junk food than she ever did.  I hope that by not depriving them of the fun stuff that they won't over indulge like I did.  Perhaps we've all had our stages as teens or adults.  Maybe.  Maybe not.
 
What was the unhealthiest meal you've ever eaten?  Oh, please share!

Saving money with coupons

Last year I blogged about saving money through the use of coupons.  A co-worker shared with a couple of us in the office how she'd saved hundreds of dollars on grocery, household, and other every day items, simply by using coupons and reading various forums. 

Are you a giver or a taker?

A giver.  A taker.  Which are you?  

Givers will give you a listening ear.  They will share their spirit, their heart, their love, their joy, their laughter, and typically anything that they can give to help someone in need.

The takers will take your time, your advice, your money, your spirit, your energy, and anything else that you are willing and able to give up.   

A recent conversation with someone prompted me to write this post.

For the sake of her privacy, I’ll call her Shauntel.  We were chatting about a number of topics.  You know how it goes.  Aimlessly jumping from one topic to another, playing catch up from a busy day, week, or month.  Trying to cover everything in a short span of time.

With a hint of frustration, Shauntel asked my opinion about a situation she was experiencing.  Someone had asked a favor of her.  She agreed to the initial request. A day or so later, the person wanted to add more to the favor.  Shauntel felt as though she’d extended herself enough and was second-guessing her instinct to say no to the additional request.

The scenario is so typical of the givers and the takers in the world. 

Since she asked my opinion, I told Shauntel the following:

Don’t let this person guilt you into over commitment.  Do what you can do. Do what you want to do.  Do what you feel like doing.  I’m so sick of the takers manipulating the generous hearts of the givers into over extending themselves.

The madness occurs at work (between colleagues, supervisors, subordinates, and mangers), at home (with parents, spouses, and kids), extra-curricular activities (amongst soccer moms, football moms, cheerleading moms, coaches, etc…), and with family (at holiday gatherings, vacations, weddings, and funerals) 

Thankfully, I’ve come to my senses.  I’ve matured and wised up some and can usually identify the givers and the takers that pass through my life.  The takers use to try to suck the life out of me, but I learned to avoid them and to stay away from them like my life depends on it.  I advised her to do the same.  Run!

I also believe that the givers share the responsibility of the situation and the outcome too.  It is not just the fault of the takers.

Rather than to continue to play the role of innocent victim, complaining and sulking to anyone who will listen as to how they’ve been done wronged and taken advantage of  (by the way, Shauntel is not like this), the person should understand and access their own actions and determine what steps they can take to change the situation. Sometimes it takes extreme measures such as ejecting people from your life.

You bettcha!  I’ve kicked full-fledged adult “takers” out of my life and felt darn good about my choice.   “Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!”  When I was a kid, I heard that phrase a lot.

My eight year old understandably struggles from time to time with the idea but my recently turned 22 year old has embraced the notion rather nicely.   I hope and pray that I've taught and continue to teach my children to see the value of giving over receiving; it really is a life long process.

Give generously and take only when needed and only when necessary.