Being unconventional can lead to success

Buck the system. Go nontraditional. Be unconventional. Celebrate being eccentric. Be yourself. Do you with confidence and with flair.


I’ve always condoned the traditional in much of everything that I’ve done. I know- as I’m told, tradition has its place. Not to sound clichéish, but my kids have always been encouraged to leave their own footprints in the sand and avoid following in anyone else’s footsteps.

With those thoughts in mind, last night I celebrated the Philadelphia Eagles, 23rd NFL Draft pick, Danny Watkins!

Sidebar- I don’t follow college football. I do watch professional football and can only name a handful of football players. On a good day, I can name nearly ten professional football teams. I can’t tell you jack about the stats on ANY player.

I’m sure that by the time this posts, there will be hundreds, if not thousands of posts on the good and the bad of the Philadelphia Eagles Draft pick.

That said it’s not the stats that’s sent me into a tizzy, it is the fact that this 26 year old didn’t play football in high school. And get this! He’s a part-time firefighter! I love it!

Wait! Those who know me will say that I’m excited and am partial because my hubby’s career is in fire suppression, but I assure you that one has nothing to do with the other.

The fact of the matter is this:

• In spite of Watkins missing out on Taxi, Pee Wee, JV, and Varsity football, the guy was drafted to play NFL Football.
• In high school, he played rugby and hockey and probably enjoyed every minute of it.

• At 6’4”  312 pounds, he was probably a decent size athlete who was encouraged to play the all American game of football, but chose another sport.

•  After high school, he attended college and majored in general studies. Perhaps he was uncertain about his career path. I'm sure that as the days pass, we'll learn  more about Watkins.

From what I’ve read, he didn’t play football until 2007 and four years later, he’s drafted by a national football team. Amazing!

So what’s my point?

Watkins, like many child athletes, probably didn’t stand out as the “star athlete” destined for professional ball, yet he’s catapulted to the forefront. Ahead of other athletes who no doubt feel as though they’ve “done their time,” or “shown their commitment” to the sport and deserve to be there over Watkins. Regardless, he chose a different path from many others, yet ended up at the same destination.

I’m convinced that the same holds true for every other kid or adult in the world. Regardless of the individual appearing to be an average Jane or John, each of us has much to contribute to society. We shouldn’t judge or count others out because their credentials are less esteemed than the next guy.  We should simply respect others and  focus our positive energies on our own indvidual path and destination.

Congratulations Danny Watkins!

Foul ball on the jewelry selection

I cannot believe that I'm blogging about this incident, but it's true and I'm just keeping it real.

“Staying in the moment” and being "present" sometimes comes as a challenge to me.  I have to constantly remind myself to focus,  to enjoy the present moment and to not think about anything else.  Some days I am more successful then others.  Case in point-


My latest fad is an attraction to anklets and bracelets made of materials like hemp and leather.  On one recent shopping trip, I purchased quite a few bracelets.  I chose a few cool pieces mainly due to their bright and vivid coloring.


Black clothing dominate my work clothes because it's easier and quicker to put an outfit together at 5:00 a.m..  I've learned that adding a spice of color through accessories is simpler for me.  The process of coordinating my bracelets, earrings and other jewelry pieces with my outfit is less time consuming.

Anyway, few weeks ago I was excited to sport my cool black natural fibered bracelet with rectangles painted bright yellow, red, and green.

Fast forward to around 8:00 a.m. the day that I wore my bracelet to work.  I’m sitting in my office, easing into my work day.  I gingerly glance down at my bracelet smiling and admiring its beauty. At that moment, I realized that the pretty "tropical" plants looked familiar.  I stopped to take a closer look.  "Hmm.... this isn't good," I thought.

No, it can’t be!  I put my reading glasses on!  Perhaps I need to wear my glasses when I shop now.  I take a second and third look.  OMG!  I am horrified to discover that the damn tropical looking plants  on the side of my bracelet are marijuana plants!!! What the heck?!?!

Duh!  I forgot to mention Bob Marley's pic!

At the time of my purchase, I had no idea of the art work depicted on  the bracelet.  Just wasn't paying close attention.  I don’t use drugs nor do I make it a habit of buying merchandise that contain pictures of drugs.  I work with teens and pride myself in setting a positive example for students.  Jeez!  What an airhead!

Needless to say, I made an immediate adjustment to my adored accessory on this morning and the bracelet never became visible to students.  I am so glad that I realized this outrageous snafu before any students got a chance to see it.  

For sure, I learned my lesson the hard way.  Stay "present" woman!  The irony is that I tell both my kids all the time, "pay attention!"  He he!  The jokes on me.  Doggone it! Pay attention Tanya!

Will you still love me if...

Through the spirit of a child-

Will you still love me if I’m gay?

Will you still love me if I’m over weight?

Will you still love me if I’m not like you?

Will you still love me if I’m not a college graduate?

Will you still love me if I fall down and can’t get up?

Will you still love me if my life long partner is an atheist?

Will you still love me if I love someone of a different faith?

Will you still love me if I don’t achieve your definition of success?

Will you still love me if I chose to love someone outside of my race?

If you’ll still love me in spite of the characteristics that make me different from you, than you appreciate the significance of unconditional love.  I love you mom.  I love you dad.

A recent conversation with a young woman prompted me to think about the idea of unconditional love.  Unconditional love is often talked about by parents like it’s some automatic device that comes with parenting. 

When our children are young, innocent, impressionable, cute, and still hang onto our every word, it’s so easy to love them… unconditionally. 

However, with the passage of time, our impressionable babies become independent, outspoken, confident, rebellious, courageous, and begin to make their own choices-  And that's when the true test of unconditional love presents itself.

The young lady told me that she was gay.  This was her official “coming out” to me, but I was not surprised.  I told her that her sexuality had no bearing on our relationship and that she should live her life being true to herself. 

I was curious and questioned her about her peers, her family, and her friend’s knowledge and acceptance of her homosexuality.  All was well until she spoke of her parents.  Neither parent approved of her lifestyle; consequently, life at home was a struggle.  She quietly spoke of betrayal and other events that took place within her family circle that continue to weigh her down.  She revealed that for a short moment, she contemplated suicide, but quickly realized that suicide wasn’t the answer.  

She referenced biblical scriptures that she’d been shrouded with by family and a few others.  She also expressed her love and commitment to her faith.

I couldn’t tell her that I knew how she  felt, because I didn’t know for sure.  However, I vividly remember my own struggles at age 17 that left ball patches in the front of my hair and ulcers in the pit of my stomach.  So I could certainly empathize with her and hope and pray that she would soon find peace in her heart and within her family.

As the mother of a soon-to-be 22 year old, I’ve discovered that as our children blossom into young adults, we have to let go.  Letting go doesn’t mean disappearing from their lives.  To me, it simply means that we have to find a balance between trying to help them avoid severe life altering mistakes to allowing and encouraging them to make responsible choices and to become the adults that we hope and pray that we’ve raised them to become.

Nearly 20 years ago, I remember working with this lovely and hard working woman.   Members of her family stopped speaking to her because she was Jewish and was dating an Italian guy.  A patriarch of the family forbade her to continue dating the guy and, when she refused to end the relationship, stopped speaking to her.  I was amazed. This was a closely knit family.

I just don’t get it!  I’ve always told my daughter, “I don’t care who you date or marry- Black, White, Asian, Latino, Hispanic, man, woman- that’s right!  As long as the person has a good head on his or her shoulder and treats her with dignity and respect… that’s the criteria for me.”  She understood and has always been open with us.  She dates a nice Irishman, who is smart, career minded, witty, and treats her with dignity and respect.  Of course, my mom has issues with the bi-racial relationship, but that’s her problem for her to keep all to herself. 

My final thoughts are to love your kids--- regardless.

“What would your profession be if you didn’t need money?”

I love this question! It came to me by way of  The Daily Post a blog that I subscribe to.

If I was to wave a magic wand and I didn’t need the money, I would be working as:

Owner of Lexa’s Place.  Lexa’s place is a community for homeless teenage girls. A community where you and I would feel very comfortable to eat, sleep, bathe, and rejuvenate. Visualize a warm and nurturing environment where young ladies receive individual and group counseling, treatment for substance abuse, medical assistance, mentors, life skills training, family planning, educational support and guidance and more. The community in which Lexa’s place sits in a quiet suburban community nestled deep in the woods and a great distance from the rut and temptation of city life. A large part of my day is spent managing, advocating, and working to improve and change the course of the lives of the residents in the program.

A Personal Fitness Trainer working with obese children and their families. I am a fitness enthusiast.         Truthfully, I’m an exercise junky. I’m addicted to the euphoric feeling of the runners high. 

It’s unsettling for me to see young children learn unhealthy eating habits and unhealthy lifestyles. When I see obese kids, especially the young ones, I want to grab the parents and quite frankly ask, “What the hell are you doing to your kid?” “Setting them up for major health issues, low self-esteem, teasing and bulling in school, discrimination and more!” “Stop! There’s a better way!” Of course, I know that if I took that approach, at the least, I’d get cussed out, but you get the picture. To adapt a healthy life style, one must educate themselves on exactly what a “healthy lifestyle” means, then the person must make a conscience choice to slowly make the change. I’d love to help the little ones and their parents do this.

Lastly, a Writer.  More specifically, a writer, generating income, writing for my favorite magazines and a few other topics.  I know, money is not suppose to be part of the equation, but realistically, I need to fund my other projects and pay for a second home in the islands.  So somewhere along the line the need to make money will factor in. A percentage of my income will come from writing.

I answered the question very easily because I’ve asked myself the same question many times. Consequently, I am working on all three projects and have no doubt that each will occur in the right season and at the right time. Meanwhile, I continue to move forward… steady and slow, knowing that I will be ready when each opportunity presents itself.

I strongly believe that, with the exception of a few professions, the idea of a lifetime career is nonexistent.  With so many career options and possibilities, no one should be stuck in an unsatisfying career.  Although change does not occur overnight, it is also true that change cannot take place without some effort on our part.  It's easy to talk about what we want to do with our lives in the future, but it takes hard work, sacrifice, and commitment to make our dreams come true.

How about you? “What would your profession be if you didn’t need money?” I would love to hear from you.

April Fools Run

Accomplished.  That’s my word for the day. 

This morning I ran in the first annual Katz JCC April Fools run on the boardwalk in AC.  The weather was perfect.  Dazzling sunshine, a calm Atlantic Ocean, and an abundance of enthusiastic runners.  Other than palm trees blowing in 90 degree temperatures, white sand, and crystal blue waters, it doesn’t get any better than that.

Participants received cool t-shirts and colorful jester hats that even light up.  My puffy hair didn’t fit well enough under my hat, so as much as I wanted to run wearing my jester hat, I couldn’t.  The picture was taken after the race.

I ran the 11K or 6.83 mile run.  I placed 166 out of 342 and I’m feeling pretty good about myself now. My pace was 9:06 miles and it took me 1 hour and 2 minutes to complete the run.  My only competition was myself. I rarely have the time to train for any running events, but I do try to keep in some kind of shape so that I can finish respectively.

The race was well organized and upon completing the race, runners were treated to a nice cold beer.  Yep!  Beer!  Sounds like an oxymoron right?  Trust me- they go well together.  Bananas, oranges, water ice, pretzels and water were also available to runners, but for some reason, the beer stands out in my mind.

Running is a euphoric experience for me.   The more that I run, the more I want to.   I never get bored indulging in running.  I’m excited because I started running with my son on his bike and look forward to the day when we can run together.  There’s a very small window where I’ll be able to keep up with him; after that, mom will be too slow.  I also hope to teach him a little something about fitness and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that “more than one third of U.S. adults—more than 72 million—people and 17% of U.S. children are obese.”  Not to get off topic, but we have to get our kids off of the sofa, away from TV, away from video games and computers and keep them active.  We must also break away from any unhealthy eating habits or other unhealthy family traditions and teach our children a better way of life. 

A good place to start is exercising and playing outdoors with the kids.  The weather is warming up and the spring is the ideal time to get out doors and have some family fun.  

CDC Links

http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/childhood/defining.html  

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/obesity_child_07_08/obesity_child_07_08.htm  

http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/index.html  

Mixing up the mundane

Every now and then I feel a little caged and desperately need to do something different. You know, break away from the routine and do something outside of the norm.  So, last weekend I decided to forgo my mundane weekend routine and invest in a little me time.

A Martini & Minx Nail party at Kinhairitage Salon on Friday evening kicked off my weekend.  Typically Friday nights are reserved for laundry and, while I did toss a few loads in the washer and dryer, I didn’t finish, nor did I care.  This momma was guilt free.

At the party the conversation was positive, light, and engaging.  My nails were done up really cool and the martinis were right on time and much needed.  Did I say needed?  Lol!  You know how it goes.

I couldn’t wait for Saturday night to come- just hubby and I were going out on a date to see Janet Jackson.  That’s right- my girl Janet!  Janet and I go way back to Penny on Good Times.  I love her music but have never seen her in concert.  Anyway, while finishing up laundry and Sunday’s dinner, I rocked to the beat of my favorite Janet songs. Before I knew it, concert time had arrived.

The crowd was energized and it was refreshing to see such a diverse audience.  Young, old, gay, straight, Black, White, Asian, Latino, and more, all feeding off of the same energy.

My girl did not disappoint me! I sang and danced the entire show. I just want to know how the heck can you attend a Janet Jackson concert and remain seated?  What? Are you kidding me?  Okay, if you have a physical condition, I understand, but for everybody else, get your butt up and move!  It’s emotional! Come on people! I screamed her name and even became teary eyed when she performed with a backdrop video of her and her brother Michael. 

I was lucky enough to get a t-shirt, which I wore the entire concert.  I won’t be wearing it or washing it very often because it was overpriced, but worth it. 

Sunday was awesome too!  My cousin and I got up early and drove two hours to a Black Hair Care Expo in Baltimore, Maryland.  All I can say is TREATS!!  At one point, my cousin asked me if I had a budget.  I was like, budget?  For this?  Hmm… Lol!   Below are a few pictures of some of my purchases. 

www.sarenzobeads.com 

I didn’t expect to find so many beautiful and exotic hand crafted jewelry and clothes.  The merchandise was very affordable, which made it very easy to blow a hundred or more.

This was my first Black Hair Expo. I found it to be informative and educational; I will definitely attend again. I leaned about it through my natural hair stylist, ShidaNatural.  Thanks Rashida, sorry I missed you, but I won’t next time.

The weekend wore me out, but didn't feel as short as it usually does.  Could I do this every weekend?  Heck no!  I certainly paid for the running around and partying, but every now and then it’s good to mix things up a little.  I had a blast!