Friday, January 7, 2011

10 Tips for Stressed Out Parents

Is parenting stressing you out? If you’re sashaying along just fine with only a few bumps and bruises, then I convey my congratulations to you and suggest that you stretch your arms out and give yourself a much deserved pat on the back.


If you are like most parents, you’ve experienced bouts of parental lassitude and are in need of a re-charge. Let’s face it. It happens to the best of us. Kids are kids. Regardless of their age, they will do goofy things and make silly choices that get under our skin.

Bringing a sense of humor to the picture will make a world of difference. As parents, we should be able to laugh at ourselves and our kids. Personally, I think some of us take parenting way too serious and expect too much way too soon from our kids. Often the seriousness leads to stress.

A parent whose child or children are enrolled in multiple extra-curricular activities may be stressed from stretching themselves too thin. You know—not enough time for dinner and homework. Not having enough time to get from point A to point B and cursing every speed limit obeying driver in front of them. Come on now… Don’t get angry with me because I’m obeying the road rules. Lol! Y’all know what I’m talking about. This morning I overslept and caught every school bus in my township. At one stop, the bus driver waited as the student casually tip toed down her lengthy driveway to the bus. I started laughing at the thought of me screaming out the window, “Move it! I’ve gotta get to work!” Lol! But I didn’t do that, I just thought to myself, “If I had gone to bed earlier last night and gotten up earlier this morning, I would have missed all the school buses and the student and bus wouldn’t be an issue.”

Parents should have more realistic expectations from children. Parents evolve, mature, and psychologically develop and so do our children. We don’t have our babies knowing everything about child rearing. Children don’t come with instructional manuals, so we seek to educate ourselves in many ways. We also learn from our actions, the actions of others, and from our children.

A constant fact to remember is that we are developing and so are our children. Our challenge is to find a suitable balance to raise moral, happy, confident, smart, and spiritually connected (for some of us) kids.

To minimize the stress I say the following:

1. Don’t compare your kids to other kids – They’re all individual; let’s treat them that way
2. Respect other parent choices – what works for my kid may not work for yours and vice versa
3. Let your kids develop their own dreams - Live your own dreams
4. Sacrifice within reason
5. Let kids be themselves… KIDS!
6. Core values are more important than a 4.0 GPA
7. Reserve “me time” daily – say “no” to the family and “yes” to you
8. Break historical negative family cycles and create new ones
9. Our kids’ lives will never be error free-- ours isn’t’
10. Relax in 2011!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Challenge: Complete The To-Do List...Today!

After picking my son up from school yesterday, I routinely checked his folder.  There was a note from the school nurse.  During school he complained of a sore throat and had a temperature reading of 99.3.  The nurse’s instructions were, “please keep student home tomorrow.”

So, as I sit here Wednesday morning realizing that I did not hit the mega million jackpot for 300 and some million dollars, that I should use this weekday to be productive.   And- productive I shall be!   It would be so easy to curl up in bed and do nothing all day, but with my 2011 goals and resolutions waiting to be activated, I’m up, dressed and ready to go.

My to-do list that I created this morning already has one and half fewer items on it.  I bathed the dog because he stunk! His bed is in the washer.  When I complete this post, another item will be checked off this list.

I know that I can finish this to do list if I focus really hard and don’t get distracted.  Ha! Ha! At times, I distract easily.  Take my phone for example.  It just chimed.  Meaning I just received an email, text or facebook message.  Do I dare check it?  Hmm… maybe- maybe not.  That’s a time zapper for certain.   But I can’t resist checking it.  Lol!!  Maybe I should add “stay off facebook” today to the list.  Now that I think about it, I should also add, “don’t watch The View” and “resist the urge to tune into the OWN Network today” 

Oh man!  This is going to be much harder than I thought.   But I’m going to try. Wish me luck—I’m going to need it!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Enjoying a Post Holiday Exhale

Right now I can appreciate an invigorating yoga inhale and   exhale...    The holidays are over!!  While I thoroughly enjoy the traditions and festivities of the holiday season, I can honestly say that I'm glad that the season of hustle and bustle has ended.

The post holiday pace is refreshing.  Almost everything and everyone moves slower-   You know- like the instant replay shown in slow motion at the end of a nail biting horse race or football game?  Yeah; that feeling!

I am committed in 2011 to work diligently to stay present in each moment. There are so many instances when I'm physically engaged in one activity while mentally engaged in another.  I can think of moments when I'm in the shower with pulsating hot water gushing out of the body sprays on my pressure points.  And rather then really indulging in the moment, my mind is elsewhere.  That's ridiculous!  I ought to be appreciating and luxuriating in the moment; instead I'm thinking about house cleaning, laundry, or some other trivial task.  I've walked the dog out back near the tree line in broad daylight, yet missed many of the colorful details of the trees. Someone could have been standing in the middle of the trees and I wouldn't have even noticed them looking at me.  I'm not doing this anymore.

PITM....that's my new motto.  Present in the moment.  I am going to keep reminding myself to stay present until the behavior becomes a new and positive habit for 2011!

Best wishes to you for a safe, happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!